Sarah Jessica Parker looks genuinely concerned when I recount a story of my five-year-old daughter telling me her favourite pop star is beautiful because she has a flat stomach. And no, before you ask, telling Hollywood royalty about my parenting woes in a suite of a London hotel was not on my bingo card for 2023.
With a warm smile she dispenses helpful advice, nonetheless. ‘The thing I’ve learned as a parent is you can always go back, there's no statute of limitations to a conversation,' she shares - before giving me a time-bound game plan.
'I would go back in a few weeks and say, "I was really curious about what you said because I was thinking about people’s different shapes and sizes and because I always like hearing about what is pretty to somebody, I was curious about where that came from”.'
With 14-year-old twin girls - Marion and Tabitha, with husband Matthew Broderick - I get the impression she’s adept at navigating life in the 21st century with daughters.
With mine aged five and two, the scale of the challenge being a mum to young women, right now, is something that isn't lost on me. 'Tell me it gets easier..?' I plead. With ankles neatly crossed, Sarah Jessica leans in and smiles - admitting that she too thinks a lot about external pressures and what that means for her own.
‘Even if they're evolved enough to know the dangers of it [social media] we’re all still vulnerable when it comes to connecting. What we all want is to have a friend and to feel like there is enough common ground with other people so that there’s a connection, but with that desire comes the pressure to be more like somebody else,' she shares.
'My daughters are bright but they're also human. I've given them as much as I can, they are as set as they're ever going to be, and I will continue to remind them of their value and worth.’
Does she worry as to whether they’re listening? ‘Often, they'll say to me: "Well, you're my mother so of course you're going say that!" But sometimes I'll say something [empowering] and one of them will agree and I'll say: Good! Try to hold on to that [feeling of self-worth] when you’re at your most vulnerable.’
These vulnerable moments, she accepts, will arise. 'They have to go through it, of course, so they develop coping mechanisms.’ In fact, Sarah Jessica sees instilling all three of her children (her twins have an older brother - James, 20) with an appreciation of the importance of riding out emotions as a major parenting priority.
‘I say to my kids there is real danger of sitting in the saddle of blue, especially for young people. If you feel upset or have an experience that was unpleasant or surprising in some way, you should feel it,' she explains.
'For me, I like to ask myself what I can do to put that "thing" away and move on, but not to forget it and pretend it didn’t exist. Feelings should be felt and seen.'
Beyond the face of things
While Sarah Jessica has all the time in the world to dissect the highs and lows of parenthood, one topic she has little time for is ageing. On the one hand, I applaud her stance. After all, women are so much more than the exterior and it's only by shutting down these conversations that we’ll continue to dismantle patriarchal norms around youth and beauty. But given that the natural approach she has taken to ageing has often made the headlines, I was curious to get her take.
'I am so confounded by the fact that the majority of men my age are simply never asked about ageing. We all wake up, have a million things going on, and just need to get on with our days so I don’t understand the emphasis that is placed on the pondering of ageing.’
Her thoughts could be deemed as a little offbeat given that we’re meeting thanks to her partnership with RoC, a beauty brand whose latest product range - 'Correxion' focuses on the skin smoothing prowess of retinol.
And yet, Sarah Jessica is adamant that society’s obsession with ageing and looking after your skin aren’t mutually exclusive.
‘I look at what I can do to maintain my skin, without spending hours or huge amounts of dollars on it,' she shares. 'I have great admiration for women who want to do nine skincare steps but that’s something that I don't have the patience or concentration for, I also don't understand why we are asking that of women, all our time is valuable.’
Ultimately, the quicker Sarah Jessica whizzes through her skincare routine, the better. ‘When you are working on set, you are wearing a lot of makeup, which even [having it applied], for me, is a lot of valuable time. So, I like to keep my routine basic and effective – RoC is perfect for this and their Max Hydration is beautiful, gives the perfect amount of moisture and isn’t heavy. I use it consistently.’
As for her using skincare masks, at-home peels and toners? Not her bag.‘ [When I’m travelling] I figure: “Oh, this is a nice hotel, they'll have [products] and I will just use that”,’ she laughs. And if she’s sent a decent cleanser, naturally, she’ll hang on to it to remove heavy makeup after shooting.
Everybody’s free to feel good
But, she caveats, she's not about to chastise women who are anti-ageing skincare maximalists - or those who top up their regimens with injectable tweakments.
‘The alternative [to ageing] that exists is to take measures [such as cosmetic procedures and injectables] that make you feel better, and I am all for it,' she confirms. 'I love that people choose to do what that want and find a way that makes them feel better when they walk out the door. It’s just not something I choose to do.’
A huge part of this, she says, is her job as an actor. (I should say, when we speak, the SAG-AFTRA strike was ongoing – precluding any questions about SJP’s acting projects – including reprising one of her most iconic roles, as Carrie Bradshaw in the Sex and The City reboot, And Just Like That.)
‘I’m meant to be sharing emotion and communicating with my face,’ she says with an expression that conveys a mixture of exasperation and humour, ‘Which, for me, needs to move!’
With six Golden Globes, two Emmys, and three Screen Actors Guild Awards under her belt, it’s easy to see why Sarah Jessica values the power of her facial expressions. But even for those of us who don’t earn our crust by telling stories with our faces, it’s a salient reminder that wrinkles and fine lines are neither good not bad. They just…are.
Well inspired
In a world where celebrities are quick to rattle off their self-care rituals - often without pause to consider the scope of the majority’s budgets and time restraints, versus their own - Parker is reticent to do the same.
'I tend to not talk about those things as much because I'm so worried that most women don’t have someone to watch the kids or are working two jobs.’
When coaxed (she is sitting down with Women’s Health, after all) she reveals one repeat wellness appointment that she's been committed to attending for over twenty years.
'There's this little place in the West Village [in New York] that does reflexology and I've been going there since before my son was born. Its’s down some steps underneath a house and it's only got two chairs in it, but that hour long appointment is a big deal to me, it feels luxurious and can sustain me for weeks,’ she smiles. ‘I count on it.'
While SJP made clear that scrutiny applied to women’s changing appearances as we age wasn’t going to get anymore airtime in our interview, she’s happy to explore when I enquire as to how her sense of freedom around self-expression has evolved as she's gotten older.
‘I think I might have been more inclined to try to address people’s opinions of me [with the way I dress] when I was younger,’ she reflects – adding, ‘To [try and] be more like them or her.’ But now? ‘I'm not going to do something sartorial that is for somebody else and I’m not going to change my clothing or my hair or makeup for anybody else.’
‘Of course, anyone can have opinions, but I'm not interested in peripheral chatter about how I look or dress,’ she continues.
‘What I’ve always cared a great deal about is the impression I leave with somebody, where human exchanges are concerned. I will always care about the way I behave and how decent and polite I am with people.’
Given how charmed I feel as we say our goodbyes, then I think it's safe to say that she's completely nailing her goal.
