Anxiety

Do you have 'proximity panic?' As freedom day approaches, here's how to cope if you're anxious about all restrictions lifting (and don't want to ditch social distancing)

As Boris Johnson sets out his Step 4 plans, freedom day anxiety is very real.
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This weekend, I had a horrible experience in the frozen food section of Tesco, and it wasn't because they'd run out of Phish Food (they had). It was because a man came and stood uncomfortably close to me (presumably also looking for Phish Food) and started coughing. He wasn't wearing a face mask.

I bolted out the store as quick as I could, bathed myself in anti-bac and had to wait outside until the panic subsided, breathing in deep gulps of fresh air and cursing my lunchtime craving for Ben & Jezza.

You'd be forgiven for thinking that I slightly overreacted. As lockdown restrictions continue to ease and our social lives return to (almost) their pre-pandemic parameters, the world is beginning to look a bit more 'normal' every day. Today, Boris Johnson is set to unveil his blueprint for 19th July – or 'freedom day' – in which the one-metre social distancing rule and working from home order will be dropped, and mask-wearing will no longer be compulsory.

The prime minister said he will "set out how we can restore people's freedoms," placing the onus on the public to "exercise judgement" as opposed to legally-enforced restrictions, arguing that we must learn to live with Coronavirus "as we do the flu".

While this is very welcome news in some ways – the economy, the nation's mental health – it sends a wave of nauseating anxiety through my body. The thought of being on the Vicoria Line sans mask or in a nightclub surrounded by sweaty bodies, packed in like sardines, makes me never want to set foot on public transport or in The Book Club ever again.

A quick poll of the GLAMOUR team and my WhatsApp groups shows I'm far from alone, so why is nobody talking about it? Why does it feel so socially unacceptable – almost taboo – to not want all restrictions to lift, and what can we do about this 'proximity panic'?

"There are a lot of reasons why people might be feeling anxious about the full lifting of restrictions," says Dr Lydia Kearney an expert in social anxiety at the University of Kent’s School of Psychology. "For some people, their main concern will be catching Covid, or passing it on to others. For some, the things we haven't experienced in a while – crowds, indoor dining, hugs – may themselves become an anxiety trigger. Others may not be able to pinpoint exactly what it is they're worried about, only knowing that feel anxious."

It's no wonder so many of us have 'freedom day anxiety' given the devastating and terrifying headlines over the past 18 months. "Any form of anxiety is based on a feeling of danger, and because we've spent a long time hearing about the genuine medical dangers of in-person contact, it's perfectly understandable to feel anxious or uncertain about spending time with other people, even if we're doing so in line with the current guidelines," Dr Kearney adds.

"While the risks are decreasing, they haven't disappeared altogether – particularly with rising cases of the Delta variant – so it makes perfect sense that while some people are excited about the end of restrictions, other people might find themselves dreading it."

It doesn't help that many of us feel under pressure to transition to total normality as seamlessly as possible, and to be OK with restrictions lifting. We may be feeling this pressure from society's generally joyful reaction to freedom day, or from members of our inner circle.

"It's very easy to feel like you're the only person with concerns when everyone seems to be making plans with great gusto," says Dr Kearney. "This sense of being 'out of step with the majority' is unsettling, and can make us doubt ourselves. If, as a result of this self-doubt, we push ourselves to take part in activities we aren't feeling ready for, we're unlikely to enjoy them. In fact, the experience might just reinforce our anxiety, and mean it takes us longer than it otherwise would have to feel ready to enjoy the end of restrictions."

Here are Dr Kearney's top tips for coping with freedom day anxiety if you don't want to ditch social distancing and mask-wearing just yet...

List what you're ready for (and what you're not)

We all have different levels of risk tolerance, so spend a little time working out yours. This might take into account things like your general health, whether or not you (and your household) are fully vaccinated, your work situation, and the pattern of Covid cases in your area. This should help you work out what you're ready for, and what might help you be ready for more. Perhaps you're ready to socialise in a friend's house, but only if everyone there has a recent negative test. Perhaps you're comfortable dining out with one or two other people you know are fully vaccinated.

Have an honest chat with your loved ones

Try to have open conversations about where you are at – it's likely to be most helpful if you frame this as being about your experience, and the level of risk you are comfortable with. This should make it clear to your loved ones that your decision isn't about whether or not you want to see them, but whether or not you, personally, feel safe to do so.

Take small steps

The best way to overcome anxiety is to give ourselves chances to realise the danger isn't as bad as we might be thinking. This means we have to experience a situation to overcome our anxiety about it. In treatment for anxiety disorders, this is called exposure therapy, and it's done in a gradual way. We don't throw people in at the deep end with their most feared situation, instead building up to it slowly. So make the most of the summer. We know that there's less chance of transmitting or catching Covid if we are outside, so try to use the nice weather as a way to reintroduce yourself to socialising in a way that feels safe to you.

Remember that anxiety isn't always just about feeling nervous

Anxiety can look different to how we might expect – sometimes it comes across as irritability, lack of sleep, tearfulness, or physical symptoms like muscle aches and stomach problems. Be aware of how you are feeling, and if it starts to be the case that anxiety is interfering in your life, preventing you from doing things you want to do, don't be afraid to seek out help, whether informal support from friends, or more formal support via your GP.

Be kind to yourself

One of the worst parts of anxiety is that it persuades us we're the only one who's struggling, and makes us afraid to reach out because we think other people will judge us. The truth is that as a society, we've been through something unprecedented and really scary – I'd be more surprised to hear someone didn't have any anxiety about the end of restrictions and a 'return to normal life', so give yourself a break. The world will be there when you are ready for it.

If your feelings of anxiety feel overwhelming and you'd like some advice, visit mind.org.uk or speak to your GP.